90s Flashback: Dante’s Peak

Guys, I’m just going to say it: I love the shit out of these cheesy disaster movies. I mean, Twister, Deep Impact, Armageddon, I love the hell out of all of them. They’re just fun, mindless movies. So, when I saw that Dante’s Peak was available on Starz, you bet your ass I pressed play.

Do you guys remember Dante’s Peak? Like, at all? Because I have some questions. Well, actually, I have one question and one issue. The question is, why have Pierce Brosnan’s character, Harry Dalton, go to the town of Dante’s Peak if his boss just wasn’t going to listen to him? It makes no sense.

My big issue is with the grandmother. You remember the grandmother? The stubborn old lady who refused to leave the mountain when the volcano was about to fully erupt? When this lady dies, is it supposed to feel like a heroic act? Yes, she jumped into the acid, which had been water (I’m still not sure I understand that one), to bring the boat that her family was in the couple feet more to the dock, but nobody in her damn family would have been there had she just left the mountain in the first place. Also, you’re telling me that nobody could reach out and grab the dock from where they were? I call bullshit.

Her grandchildren, neither of which are old enough to drive, steal their mother’s car and drive to their grandmother’s place on the mountain in order to get her. Mind you, there’s ash everywhere at this point. These kids could have died going up there. And, when they do finally get up there, she’s still refusing to leave the mountain. I believe her exact words were “This mountain would never hurt me”. Lady, it’s a goddamn volcano that doesn’t give a shit when you and your dead husband settled there. Do you think volcanos are selective? The lava would just flow around your house? Honest to god. It’s so frustrating because Harry Dalton, Rachel, and her children getting down from the mountain is the main conflict in the whole film. But they never even had to go up there in the first place. I don’t know why the writer wouldn’t have just placed them all up there before the volcano starts acting up. I can accept that more than literally running into the danger and then spending the rest of the film trying to get out of it. Am I supposed to feel bad for all of them? They all got themselves in this mess. The only thing I’m happy about is that the dog makes it out alive.

I do also have some questions about how they all survived in the old mine for so long. How much water did the little boy, Graham, have stashed down there? I mean, they were down there for a few days. And, Harry, I think, was just passed out for most of those in the truck. Why not make them being stuck in the mine the main conflict of the film? I’d feel for them all much more. You know?

 

Anyway, Dante’s Peak is still entertaining as hell. And you have a young Pierce Brosnan to look at the whole time, so that’s a bonus.

 

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