Stream of Consciousness Review: Child’s Play (1988)

  • Do we all actually remember the premise to Child’s Play? Because it’s weird as hell.
  • This kid…obsessed much?
  • Of course the doll is called Good Guy.
  • That life size doll in the commercial is HORRIFYING.
  • There is far too much sugar involved in this breakfast this kid is making.
  • This kid, Andy, just reinforces my never wanting children.
  • Who puts jeans in a box like that for a kid’s birthday!?
  • “I want a Good Guy to go with it” This kid is ungrateful as fuck.
  • Totally fine to buy popular children’s toys from a peddler in the alley behind your work.
  • …this manager can’t force her to work a shift she’s not scheduled for, though, can he?
  • That doll is creepy even if it wasn’t possessed by a murderer.
  • This kid needs actual friends, guys.
  • I mean, how late is this department store open?
  • FUCK NO with that doll movement.
  • How was Andy able to walk out of school and get on a goddamn train without anybody saying anything about this small child clearly traveling by himself?
  • Don’t worry. I don’t think blowing up an entire house will create a scene…
  • Okay, the puppetry is quite good once he uses his real voice.
  • You know what could have stopped all of this? Not buying a popular children’s toy from a peddler in the back alley of your work.
  • “You can’t hurt me.” But, like, all he has to do is manage to remove your arms and legs. You are, after all, a doll.
  • Andy just witnessed somebody being horrifically murdered. That’ll mess him up.
  • “Chucky’s dead” Is he really, though? Of course not.
  • But….how is he physically able to go on with his head missing, if he’s supposedly turning more human? This makes no goddamn sense.
  • Chris Sarandon told you one thing: don’t touch the doll. Asshole.
  • He deserves this.
  • Again, solid puppetry.
  • How does shooting him in the heart stop him and not removing his head? Real question. Would like an answer.
  • That 80s freezeframe ending, though.

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